Be careful how you treat your mother because there will come a day when she will not be on this side of heaven. But will be taken up to glory with God on the other side of heaven. You won’t be able to say “I love you” or call or text her or pass her in the wind. Once she’s gone, she’s gone. It will be the end. Cherish your mother. Tell her you love her if not always, every now and then. Appreciate her while she’s here. Because once the memory fades there is no fixing what you failed to appreciate while she was here.
I know this is a long post and I apologize for the lengthy thought, but this has been on my heart for a few days and I couldn’t help but share my thoughts.
My heart is heavy laden. I’m confused with children of today. God I know you sent mothers and fathers as gifts and deemed us salt of the earth. So are our children too. But I don’t understand why they do what they do. Sometimes they are in extreme opposition to your opinions and no matter what you do, will place blame on any or everything you do.
When they’re young, we look at them in admiration wishing they would hurry and walk, talk, and grow as we embrace them. Our hearts are overjoyed with this precious life you have given. We come to the conclusion there is nothing we wouldn’t do for them. We make sure there are clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet, a roof over their head, and food to eat. We will go to the ends of the earth and in most cases lay down our life for them. We are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for them.
We watch them grow over the years as they become adults. We want nothing but the best for them and try our best not to place fault, when things don’t turn out as they want. We stay on our knees in prayer asking you cover them because we want to prepare them for what’s to come. Since we already know what life will throw at them; which will make it that much more difficult to overcome. We cast all our cares upon you concerning them. We know because of your love for each of us, you will protect, guide, and keep them.
We must be careful how we treat our mother. She is a gift from God. There is no need to put blame on everything she does. But choose not to place the same blame on others regardless of what he or she does. This includes the things you do. Because it feels like you are competing with your past and want to prove a point to them and you. Ask yourself, how can everything be wrong with her but there’s nothing wrong with me? When you’re on the outside looking in, you cannot grasp the wrong in things you are doing or take the time to see. But if it is pointed out to you, learn to accept constructive criticism when you’re told of the wrong things you do.
God help me understand, who are these children we profess to love but feel they can’t show the same appreciation or love towards us? Why does it have to be a constant battle between us? What happens when you live each day and pass each other in the wind? You only feel the need to talk or call when you need something. When she calls you don’t answer. Time passes by you text, and they still don’t answer. But can find time to talk to others whether it’s a sister, brother, or a friend. But why is it you choose not to answer the phone most of the time for her? This is confusing.
There are events you take part in that take precedence in your life. But can’t find a moment to call out of the blue and say “I love you” or make the sacrifice. You make it clear no calls can be received at work. But when something requires your attention during this time, you make the sacrifice to get calls at work to make sure everything is fine. Everything has to fit in your schedule according to your plans. But remember, your plans are not God’s plans. God knows and see all you do. And one day when it’s too late, you will reap what you sow all because of you.
Don’t get me wrong, granted there are some good times you share with your children and will cherish the memory. Not every child will do these things even though some will choose to live in misery. There are some children who will go through some things and you will do your best to be there for all of them. There may be one child who you know loves you unconditionally. Every time you speak or hear from them, they will tell you “Mom I love you.” It’s comforting. Mothers are a gift from God. They are treasured memories. I just have to wonder why it is so hard for children to embrace this.
Yes, I confess I have faults. There are some things I don’t always get right. But I can admit my faults and humbly submit to God’s will as I make the sacrifice to make things right. There are times I can be stubborn and will block my own blessing. Yet, when I get angry and choose to refuse help it’s because I feel uncomfortable when I may feel your reaction was unnecessary. When I feel someone is doing something not out of love but out of obligation. I make the decision to refuse help without hesitation. I know it is not the right thing to do. God, please be patient with me. I am working on this too.
In this life, we all have had jobs that either was hard or satisfying. At some point, we enjoyed what we were doing or gave up trying. And sometimes we are given the choice to walk away from it if it is not fulfilling. Or we will keep at it to find success because it is fulfilling. But I find one of the most astute occupations for anyone is being a parent. And I can attest to the fact that the role we are given can be the hardest job ever. It can be even more difficult when children grow up and seem to have various opinions that are in conflict with yours. You chalk it up as a lesson learned. And although some parents will choose to walk away, for others it is not a choice we make. We make the decision to stay.
We age and with aging many things will change. Our body tells us some things aren’t going to operate the same. As believers, we live and we learn. When we come to know God, as we grow and mature we take stride in adapting to changes from lessons we learn. Sometimes we learn hard lessons and decide we don’t want to ever do that again. And then there are times we keep doing the same things over and over again. We fail to learn and get stuck in our old ways. We have trouble adapting and accepting change.
If you think about it, children who grow up will endure the same process. But they may have even a much harder time accepting why we change in the process. Granted they too can get stuck in their ways, but why it is they think it’s acceptable, whether young or old, to do what you used to do and not what you say.
What happened to the old days when children used to say, “Yes ma’am, no sir, excuse me ma’am, how are you today?” What about the times when you made sure a moment didn’t go by without calling Mom or Dad just to say, “I love you” not just today but every day. What about a phone call here or there just to check up on their well-being? Nowadays its cell phones with the option to ignore calls, which I find meaningless. And you can sense when this happens when it goes to voicemail. Or text messages you receive only when they need a favor. Or they tell you, “You have a phone just as I do. Why do I always have to be the one to call you?’ Or “I’m busy, don’t call me at work but you can call me later.” Yet, if something arises at work that they need to get done, they will call you sooner rather than later.
Respect, where did it go? Sadly, it has gone out the window. The only thing we can do is accept what God presents to us in that circumstance and be thankful for the blessing. From the test, learn the lesson. My advice, take this lesson with you. And remember this in all you do. God requires you obey your parents while you are under their care, but it is your responsibility to honor your parents for life. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Eph 6:1-3). This is God’s promise.
Mothers whoever you are and children too, this one is for you. Remember, God loves each and every one of you.
Be blessed! -JD
Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that your may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (NIV)
20:12 notes: “This is the first commandment with a promise attached. What does it mean to “honor” parents? Partly, it means speaking well of them and politely to them. It also means acting in a way that shows them courtesy and respect (but not to obey them if this means disobedience to God). It means following their teaching and example of putting God first. Parents have a special place in God’s sight. Even those who find it difficult to get along with their parents are still commanded to honor them.”