God knows all about us and still blesses us. In spite of our flaws, he still loves us. Yet there are those who have seen us at our worse and know all about our past. But sometimes fail to understand the impact of their words when trying to console us when in pain.
And will use our past as a crutch and at the same time speak words of encouragement. For some, it is not always intentional even when it seems inappropriate. It can mean that they really do not understand how negative mixed with positive may affect us. Not realizing how much their words hurt us.
When a person who is in pain reaches out to another, their hope is to be healed, feel whole again, and find comfort. Yet we must know the difference and not confuse comfort with negative criticism. Or confuse pain with defeating progress. Because what it will do is crush that person’s spirit and may cause them to stagnate their own progress. Some will comfort and criticize at the same time. Because it’s the person they choose to be at that time. Not realizing at that point it defeats the purpose, especially when someone needs to get past their hurt when hurting.
When someone is hurting, words of encouragement are meant to heal with good intentions. Not to be replaced with words that will hurt them and remind them of their past afflictions. Opinions matter but they do not count. When secure in whom you are you will erase all doubt. Criticism at first will look like defeat and may cause you to go on the defense. Quickly reminding yourself you mustn’t take offense. It is then and only then after much careful thought, you realize you could have handled it differently and in the future will work to not give it much thought.
Don’t get me wrong, criticism when constructive can sometimes make you stronger. But you must be careful of the appropriate time to use it and not at a time when consoling others. Or at a time when you know mentally and emotionally, there is something wrong. Discern the difference between right and wrong.
Unkind, thoughtless words hurt once they leave the mouth. Be careful with the words that come out of your mouth. Death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Your words are a reflection of your thoughts and who you are and have become. Make sure your words in a split moment of conversation inspire and not tear down. Let your opinions be wise and spiritually sound. Be kind, loving, empathetic, and sincere. Don’t use the past at any time to remind someone of the place they find themselves now is why they are there.
The greater level of comfort you have with yourself will make it that much easier to deflect criticism, and not let it hinder your progress. Only to use it as a positive force to remind you of the person you have matured into. While celebrating the past you left behind you.
Don’t defeat my progress because of my pain. Let your words of comfort be positive to help me heal and feel whole again. Don’t confuse comfort with negative criticism when supporting someone in their time of need. Build them up. Let your words be positive words of wisdom. Indeed!
Be blessed! -JD
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 “3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. (NASB)