Tag Archives: forgiveness

Healing Takes Time. Humility Takes Courage. Forgiveness is a Process. Don’t Rush It

wpid-img_20150324_203439.jpgOne of the most important things we must acknowledge about forgiveness is that it is a process that occurs over time. It doesn’t happen overnight. To mend something that is broken can take a lifetime to fix. Humility takes courage. Healing is part of that process and we cannot rush it.

And while it may not occur like we think it should, no matter how small the humble beginning, thank God for it. A humble heart cannot be seen from the inside. What flows from it will manifest through our actions on the outside.

With anything that has a beginning, the end will come. We may not be able to see what’s in a person’s heart but God does. Don’t be quick to judge the efforts of others. God looks at our hearts; not what we do when others are looking. It’s not what we do but the manner in which we choose to do it.

Pain is not something we can cure overnight. The healing process must occur in steps. We cannot rush it. Love covers a multitude of sins. Be slow to convict. Support one another through the journey. Be a blessing. No matter how big or small, count it all joy. Thank God for humble beginnings! ‪#‎ItBeginsWithYou‬

Be Blessed! – JD

 Job 8:7 “Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be.” (NIV)

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Make a Mental “Note to Self” Today. Decide to Love, Respect, and Value Yourself, First and ALWAYS!

Note to Self 3Note to Self: “I decided to change some things for the better. I will no longer be inconvenienced by people who refuse to or don’t want to do better. I won’t accept excuses anymore from those who choose to complain and remain bitter. Or those who perpetuate instability or violate my existence. Not because I’m being ugly or inconsiderate. But because I don’t do well wasting time on people or things that don’t deserve my attention.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I prefer to value what I believe is of value to me, and will no longer support the ideas of discouragement or disloyalty. I’ve lost the will to keep giving of myself to one-sided relationships. And will no longer waste my loyalty or time on undeserving friendships.

I refuse to be hindered by senseless chatter, gossipers, haters, and pettiness. I am far too intelligent to stoop below my level for the sake of inconvenience. I no longer have no reason to celebrate anyone that does not choose to celebrate me. Or be in the company of those who breed negativity. I can do bad all by myself. Believe it or not, I don’t need anyone’s help.

I vow to ALWAYS celebrate me. I promise to appreciate my losses, failures, and disappointments as a blessing. “Don’t hate the sinner, hate the sin.” For those who choose to wallow in self-pity and feel sorry for themselves, I will pray for your deliverance. I will not live beneath my standards nor will I accept the sub-standard. I don’t do well with breaking old habits. I can’t keep trying to please everyone. I fail miserably at long-distance relationships when I’m the only one in it. I broke up with bitterness and resentment and forgave those who chose not to stay. I sent them thank you cards to express my gratitude for leaving that day.

Words cannot express what you did for me. You taught me how to stop putting you first and learn to love me. I fell madly in love with myself. In those dark moments, I found myself. I discovered so many wonderful things about my inhibitions. I am fit, fabulous, fierce, and truly gifted. I’m beautiful, strong-willed, strong-minded, and determined. Things that were hidden in me found their way to the surface. I don’t require validation or confirmation to know my self-worth. In my weaknesses, I found my strengths. I won’t make the same mistake twice to live for you, and not me. If I do, shame on me.

I decided to stop looking for the approval of others. Perseverance became one of my best friends. I adopted humility, self-confidence, self-respect, self-worth, and selflessness as my closest friends. My friends taught me how to love and respect ME. Myself and I promised to stand in the gap for me.

I discovered the beauty of life while traveling this long journey. It pushed me beyond my limits. I found the key to success, is my, not your, happiness. I won’t let the opinions of others stagnate my progress. Low self-esteem has been erased from my vocabulary. I married my life-long confidant called Liberty. I will live and not die. Me, myself and I, now have my full, undivided attention.

I released the past, forgave myself, and forgave those who chose not to find forgiveness. I value me and the life I have been given. I will no longer be bound by anything that will keep me from my reaching my destiny. I found a new life and changed my name to VICTORY.” -JOAYNN

Be blessed! -JD

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Have You Ever Had This Type of Conversation with God? Confession of a Broken Heart

wpid-img_20150104_215704.jpgPlease forgive me for this long unusual post. I have lots of questions and I need some answers. Have you ever had a conversation like this with God? Having a pity party? Do you ever find yourself so angry you don’t know what to do? You’re angry at the world and at God because of what you keep going through? You shout out and ask, “God what do you want from me!!??”

People keep talking bad about and saying mean things to me. They expect me to be perfect because I’m a Christian. They expect me to take charge just because I’m a mother. Shoot, I’m doing my best on top of having to deal with my own personal struggles. They expect me to be normal when my “once normal” is no longer normal. They expect me to do the right thing when I don’t want to. I don’t feel like being humble. I don’t want to please people or listen to the lies they keep filling in my head. I just want the voices in my head to go away.

Why is it I feel I am always the one that need to live up to everyone else expectations? What about my expectations? Why must I be the only one that have to live up to the expectations of others simply because I’m a Christian? What about me? What about my feelings? Do you ever think about all the stuff I’ve been through? Have you ever considered the pain, devastation, confusion, stress I’ve endured? How can you be so selfish? I put on airs. You don’t have a clue. Do you ever think about how things are affecting me? You don’t know what I am going through.

Why do I always have to be a priority for others but when I need them to be a priority for me they keep finding excuses and blame things on me? Isn’t accountability a two-way street? What happened to do unto others as you would have them do unto me? Why does it seem like I am the only one trying to do the right thing but the minute I want to do the wrong thing, in the eyes of others it’s the wrong thing. Can’t people just let me be? Why does it feel like everyone is always picking on me?

Since no one else seems to be listening to what I have to say in my own defense, God I have to tell it to you because I know you’re always listening. I’m not even sick and tired of being sick and tired anymore. I’m just sick and tired. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I just want to go with the flow and hope it works like it seems to be working for everyone else. Wouldn’t it be easier to just be my old self? No….I already know. I can’t because I’m a peculiar person. I’ve been picked out to be picked on. Devil please leave me alone!

God, the devil is trying his best to convince me that I made the wrong choice when I gave my life to you. He’s trying to make me believe the wrong thing is the right thing I want to do. He keep asking me, “Why did you choose to be a Christian? From what I can tell you ain’t winning?” Every day I have to fight against his lies. Sometimes even though I know it’s not the truth, I feel like he may know what he’s talking about. He keeps coming at me because he knows I’m a Christian. I know who I belong to. The devil is a lie and the truth ain’t in him! Go seek dry places!

Lord, please forgive me. I feel like I keep failing you. In the eyes of so many people, I am not right no matter what I do. They keep judging me. They keep trying to make me miss my blessing. I hurt. My heart aches. I’m in so much pain. I’m not like Jesus where I can put aside my fears and forgive quickly. I know there is no excuse for me saying this, but since you already know what I’m thinking I can’t help but to be honest. I am human. I’m fallible. My heart is broken in pieces. It’s so shattered I can’t even find many of the pieces. How am I going to put it back together when I can’t get together myself?

I know this is not about me. This is all about you. No matter what I see, I MUST give glory to you. God, I am trying. I feel lost. I can’t stop the tears falling from my eyes. I feel this life is too hard. How many times must I keep losing my way? How many times must I humble myself when people keep hurting me? At times I can’t see you in anything? God, I have to release this so I can feel better. I don’t like this feeling. I know this will not be like this forever….but.

Don’t I get a chance to feel some type of way when people abuse me, persecute me, lie on me, and misjudge me? Am I supposed to accept everything people do to me just because of who I am? Just because I’m a Christian? Even Jesus cried out to You about the ninth hour in a loud voice and said, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” – which means, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Even though he knew for certain he was innocent.He had done nothing wrong to lose the favor of God. Yet you still loved your own Son. I feel the same way. And I know you love me. This is the first-time I have ever done this. I never give away my secrets. Exposing myself before the world. I feel so naked. I’m not ashamed. Somebody needs to hear this.

Like Jesus, this was my deepest expression of anguish I felt that caused me to be separated from you, my Father. And I felt horrible. But I am so thankful Jesus suffered in my place so that I would never experience eternal separation from You. Isaiah 53:4-5 tells us, “he bore our bore our griefs and carried our sorrows; that he was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities; that the chastisement of our peace was laid upon him; that by his stripes we are healed.”

Jesus died in our place, on our own account, that he might bring us near to God. Yes, even Jesus expressed His feelings of abandonment as God placed the sins of the world on Him. And because of that had to “turn away” from Jesus. It was the only time in all of eternity he was experiencing separation from God. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us (Galatians 3:13).

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. I feel better. I had to tell it. Something tells me I’m in the final stages of delivery. My God, I feel the birthing pains before delivery. People can treat me and do to me what they want to. I will do what you say in your Word to do, “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).

Lord, I may not understand but accept why Jesus felt the way he did. I may get discouraged and feel like I’ve lost the battle. I refuse to curse my situation. The battle is not mine, it’s the Lord. Devil, you came to destroy. I’m not having it! I am a child of God. You can’t steal my joy!

It won’t always be like this. I trust God-believing in his provision. I will live by his power every day. That I may break the cycle of failure. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what a person has done. It means you choose not to be reminded of the hurt in order to move forward.

Be blessed! -JD

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (ESV)

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John 14:16 “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever”

wpid-img_20140815_110821.jpgThe devil was so busy the other day. I told him “Not today, devil. Not today! You’ve been served notice. Cancel every assignment. No weapon formed shall prosper!”

It seemed nothing was going in my favor that day. I felt defeated, lost, and couldn’t see God in anything. I found myself complaining about the things I didn’t have. Telling God how sick and tired I was of being sick and tired because I lost the things I once had.

Bitterness began to set in. I started reflecting on things from my past and began to blame others for my plight just because nothing that day seemed to be turning out right. It was not until I was reminded of Job and in some way, felt the same as he did and began comparing myself to him. Even though I managed to leave out some things, I realized Job was a great example to follow.

Job lost everything. His family and possessions. He was at a crossroad in his faith. He started complaining. He allowed his desire to understand why he was suffering overwhelm him, causing him to question God. Yet he remained faithful, had patience, and endurance. He could have either cursed God and gave up. But he didn’t. He trusted God and drew from his strength to continue. He didn’t give up on God. He worshipped God alone.

He may have questioned God and was not sure why he was suffering because he clearly felt he did not do anything to deserve such punishment. As did I. I questioned “Why me?” “Why me God?” You know the things I need and don’t have. Why am I struggling?

I told him, something changed. I find that the things I used to love doing and looked forward to every day are now becoming extinct. Does that mean I’m growing? I’ve become bored with what used to bring me joy and feel it’s time to move on to something bigger and better. Does it mean you are calling me God to move to the next level? See, I don’t know and now I find I’m truly uncomfortable. I’m struggling.

At times I feel I don’t have strength to do what has been so simple for me. Yet I’m no longer satisfied with just doing something. I desire to do more with the gifts God has given me. Pray for me. It’s not that I don’t want to keep doing what I do. It’s just that I want to do something more than what I’m doing.

I had to get myself together and collect my thoughts. I rose out of bed. I sat on the edge as I began to talk to God and express my frustration and fears. I told him about the things I’m struggling with. And as I’m talking something came to me. God revealed something incredible to me.

And I said to him, “Why not take me through trials and tribulations, almost to the point of death and desperation. That I may lose myself until I find hope in you God. I don’t ask why me but why not me? Why not use me Lord? Let your will, not my will, be done. I come to you with open arms. Use me Lord!”

God said to me “Dear child, I have seen your efforts and know how much you are trying to grow and do the work of the Lord but you cannot do this alone. Don’t worry. Help is on the way. I’m going to send you a blessing that will guide you in this journey.”

I realized no matter how much I read the word, study, and meditate, there was something missing in my walk. I began to repent and confess my wrongs to God. I knew in the end this would shape me for service to others.

John 14:16 tells me, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.”  This assures me the Holy Spirit is on my side. It is working for and with me. I will live as God wants and build God’s kingdom.

I will never stop spreading words of encouragement, inspiration, or the love of God. I just feel deep inside I need to be doing more. Pray for me as I pray for myself. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:23).

Search for sin and please point out things I’m not doing right. Show me any and all wrong motives that may be behind the things I’m feeling. When you show me what I’ve done, I will repent and seek forgiveness. I will walk in your ways. I am forgiven.

There’s a struggle inside each of us. There’s someone fighting a battle somewhere much harder than any of us. Pray. God will keep watch over us.

Every day I have to ask God for forgiveness. I admit I’m not a saint. I’m a sinner. At times, I wrestle with my flesh. And don’t get it right in the beginning. I won’t say a word. It’s for the good. I watch, I listen, then take it to God. I put it in his hands. I don’t have to do a thing. I leave it up to Him.

Be blessed! -JD

Colossians 3:1-41 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (ESV)

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Hurt People Hurt People. Misery Loves Company. Don’t Let the Struggle of Someone Who’s Miserable Become Your Burden

wpid-img_20140822_083812.jpgWoke up with a heavy heart yesterday. Sometimes I don’t understand why people do what they do or choose the words they say. Only to kill the spirit of another just because they think it’s acceptable to be, who they are in their refusal to change who they are.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Speak those things that are not as though they are. We must be careful of the words we speak. Your words are a reflection of what’s in your heart. When bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness resides inside, the words you speak will reflect who you pretend not to be on the inside. But will show itself strong when it comes out of your mouth.

To profess to be Christians, one must resemble Jesus in all they do. Our words and actions are a reflection of him. We’re representing the kingdom. To say we’re a Christian but say mean, cruel, hurtful things to others and find it difficult to love the unlovely; in some way is an oxymoron. Jesus loves us even when we’re unlovely. In his eyes, we can do no wrong. Why can’t we do the same for others?

Sometimes we have to think before we speak. And if we find it difficult to find the right words to say, it’s okay to be silent until we find the right words to say. Be careful of the way you treat people because one day you will be that same person and someone will do the same to you; and you will not know what it’s like until it happens to you.

We all will cross the same path one day. We must remember to treat others the same way we want to be treated, so that when our time comes, others will treat us the same way we want to be treated. Sometimes we do things unconsciously not realizing how it may affect others. We have to think before we speak and learn to be kind, respectful, and work to encourage, and not tear down others.

Hurt people hurt people. Misery loves company. Don’t let the struggle of someone who’s miserable become your burden. Don’t let the trick of the enemy fool you. Pray for those who hate, resent, despise, or work to confuse you. When you’ve done all you can do, stand. Put it in God’s hands.

I pray God speaks to the heart of anyone who may be hurting, confused, weak, or weary that they find strength, courage, peace of mind in Christ Jesus. Lord, you can move mountains and calm raging seas. Whatever it is we are struggling with, God deliver us from it.

God you are a heart fixer, mind regulator. You are Alpha and Omega. You are the Author and Finisher of our faith. You are the captain of our ship; perfecter of our faith. When you start a thing, you finish it. You are in control. God, let us speak boldly when we come to throne. Let the words of our mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14). You will sustain us.

There’s nothing too hard for God. Whatever troubles you, give it to God. He can work miracles even when we think we’re not worthy. God, you’re worthy. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Watch what prayer will do. Prayer changes things. Thank you for listening.

Be blessed! -JD

James 1:26 “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” (ESV)

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Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You

wpid-textgram_1389895655.pngOne of the hardest things as a Christian is to overcome evil intentions of others with kindness and humility. We can’t let it get to us or make the decision to be unloving to others as a result of unforgiveness. We must not give in to the enemy’s devious plan. Pray for them. Stand.

Some people think Christians are infallible and not human too. We may minister but sometimes we need someone to minister to us too. I’m not perfect, nor you. We make mistakes and lose focus even when we know we’re not supposed to.

People will hurt and sin against us. And we may sin against them too. What will make the difference are the choices we make after we’ve done what we were not supposed to do. Either we will choose to stay in it and do as the evildoer do. Or we will choose to repent, seek forgiveness, and do what we know God is calling us to do.

We may stumble but mustn’t live a lifestyle of unrepentant sin. As a believer, we are to be consistent in how we choose to live. There’s a level of comfort we may become accustomed to and will stay in it thinking it’s enough. God will take us out of our comfort zone because he has our best interest at heart.

We can’t live with regrets. We must not focus on what we should have or could have done living with regrets. Ask God for forgiveness. Work to do better so that when the time comes. You know it was by God’s grace you were able to overcome. Our God is gracious, merciful, forgiving. God promises in his word our sins have already been forgiven. Forgive those who have sinned against you. Forgive yourself. God will forgive you.

We must focus on the here and right now. If you don’t know how, ask God to show you how. When you pray and think God is not listening because things didn’t turn out as you wished. Hold on. God hears the prayers of the righteous. Pray and not only ask God to show you what to do, but be willing to sacrifice and make it a priority to do exactly what he instructs you to do. No matter what, God’s Will will be done. Seek God. Let His will, not your will, be done.

When you’re born of God, you will choose not to make a practice of sinning. You’re saved and not just pretending. Change your mindset. Reach new heights in God. When he presents opportunities to elevate you, be open. Come out of your comfort zone.

Do self-examination in times of testing when the enemy plans an attack against you. See if Jesus Christ is in you. Test yourself to see if you’re saved. Test whether you are in the faith. “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Co 13:5)

No matter what people may do to you. Or how right they think they may when sinning against God or trying to hurt you. Look to God for the answer. Follow his example. Abide in Christ, and he abide in you. Without him, you cannot bear fruit. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Be blessed! -JD

Ephesians 1:17-18 “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.” (NIV)

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Forgive and Let Go and Speak Out Loud To Your Pain

Forgiven

Forgiven (Photo credit: Fr. Stephen, MSC)

This has been on my heart for the past few days. Thought I’d share it with you today.

You may have been hurt, misused, and abused. You may still be harboring pain from people that have disappointed and failed you. Don’t be afraid to forgive. Otherwise, you’re preventing yourself to freely live. Don’t be held back by past hurts. Live in the present. ‪#‎LetGoLetGod ‪#‎Forgive ‪#‎PrayerWorks.

It is okay to accept that you’ve been hurt. Acknowledge it. Allow yourself time to grieve. But don’t wallow or stay in it. Don’t take too long to get over it, because bitterness and resentment will set in, which makes it that much harder to let go of the pain. When your heart becomes hardened, you will become stagnate in life. God doesn’t desire you live a substandard life. Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Think about what you want to say to the person who hurt you and how it offended you. If you are not able to physically express your hurt to them, write a letter put your words on paper then get rid of it. You can throw it in the trash, tear it into pieces, or even crumble it. This will help you to let go of it. Because what it will do for you is free you from years of bottled up emotions and torment.

The moment you do this you will feel better because you will have released your feelings from your heart and mind. You’ve sent it to another place in time. Then release it and don’t think about it anymore. Keep reminding yourself that the pain from these words will not reside in your heart anymore. God will give you strength to endure. He will help you move past your hurt. He will sustain you. Every step of the way, he is with you.

Finally, speak life into your situation every day. Truly release whatever you’re struggling with to God. Be honest. Consistently pray. If you keep your mind occupied with positive things and on God, you won’t have time to think about it at all. Forgive yourself and all will be forgiven. And remember, God is faithful and forgiving. He will give you strength to endure. Pray. Endure.

Forgive and let go and speak out loud to your pain. Live again.

Take this scripture with you and remind yourself every day, God is with you always.

Be blessed! JD

Psalm 25:17-18 “The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my afflictions and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”

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Forgive To Heal….Trust Your Belief

One of the hardest things to accept is when someone disappoints, hurts or betrays you. Yet the greatest reaction is to see God in it and not react to them. But instead react to Him. It may anger you but when your heart is in the right place, you’ll overlook their sin. You’ll choose to follow God’s orders and not sin in it. It may hurt your feelings but you’ll get over it.

                                                              photo credit:                                                           www.Oprah.com                                          Oprah's Life Class Forgiveness Quotes

photo credit:
http://www.Oprah.com
Oprah’s Lifeclass Forgiveness Quotes

When people hurt, disappoint or betray don’t take it personal or retaliate. Instead pray for them and wait.  God will see you through. And eventually, they will change too.

Your heart will be reflective of him because a heart of God will speak love. But a heart filled with bitterness and resentment speaks unforgiveness and is hard. A heart filled with contempt speaks lies and deceit. The latter is reserved for those who choose not to seek forgiveness and repent.

Trust will also play a major role in your response to a healthy life. As it manifests and renders your soul unhealthy when holding on to bitterness and strife. Ultimately bringing things such as pain and resentment as you live a defeated life.

Oftentimes a lingering lack of trust can be the very obstacle that will prevent your ability to move forward when you are blind to what’s hindering you. If you aren’t careful, complacency and blissful ignorance can lead to a lifetime of bondage in all you choose to do. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you open your heart to God and let him lead the way.

Forgiveness begins in the heart and must first take place there in order to start the healing process. Otherwise you may never be burdenless. Even though it may be hard to get there, the most important thing is to learn to trust God on your way there. Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others; for your sake and not the sake of others.

While the prevalence of broken trust may be difficult or painful to forget, forgiveness will break the cycle of your unfaithfulness. But eventually it will be up to you. To make the choice that will lead to a healthy life that you may start fresh. Anew

No matter what people may do to hurt you. Remember, there’s nothing impossible God can’t do. Choose to stay in the right standing with him. Don’t rely on man to heal you but look to him. Be willing and open to change. Seek God in the midst of your pain. For, it is he that can make your life whole again.

Trust, have faith. Open your heart. Heal and be healed. Surrender to God’s will. Allow God to mend your heart so that you may forgive and be forgiven too. Overlook the offense, move forward, and let God lead you. To a life filled with joy that he promised you.

Turn every disappointment into a blessing, failures into successes. May trials become triumphs and tests become faith testaments. Forgive that you may heal. Trust that you may believe. Embrace all that God has in store for you. And you shall receive… a renewed life.

Be Blessed! -JD

Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”

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