Tag Archives: mothers

Mothers whoever you are and Children Too, This One is For You

Be careful how you treat your mother because there will come a day when she will not be on this side of heaven. But will be taken up to glory with God on the other side of heaven. You won’t be able to say “I love you” or call or text her or pass her in the wind. Once she’s gone, she’s gone. It will be the end. Cherish your mother. Tell her you love her if not always, every now and then. Appreciate her while she’s here. Because once the memory fades there is no fixing what you failed to appreciate while she was here.

I know this is a long post and I apologize for the lengthy thought, but this has been on my heart for a few days and I couldn’t help but share my thoughts.

My heart is heavy laden. I’m confused with children of today. God I know you sent mothers and fathers as gifts and deemed us salt of the earth. So are our children too. But I don’t understand why they do what they do. Sometimes they are in extreme opposition to your opinions and no matter what you do, will place blame on any or everything you do.

When they’re young, we look at them in admiration wishing they would hurry and walk, talk, and grow as we embrace them. Our hearts are overjoyed with this precious life you have given. We come to the conclusion there is nothing we wouldn’t do for them. We make sure there are clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet, a roof over their head, and food to eat. We will go to the ends of the earth and in most cases lay down our life for them. We are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for them.

We watch them grow over the years as they become adults. We want nothing but the best for them and try our best not to place fault, when things don’t turn out as they want. We stay on our knees in prayer asking you cover them because we want to prepare them for what’s to come. Since we already know what life will throw at them; which will make it that much more difficult to overcome. We cast all our cares upon you concerning them. We know because of your love for each of us, you will protect, guide, and keep them.

We must be careful how we treat our mother. She is a gift from God. There is no need to put blame on everything she does. But choose not to place the same blame on others regardless of what he or she does. This includes the things you do. Because it feels like you are competing with your past and want to prove a point to them and you. Ask yourself, how can everything be wrong with her but there’s nothing wrong with me? When you’re on the outside looking in, you cannot grasp the wrong in things you are doing or take the time to see. But if it is pointed out to you, learn to accept constructive criticism when you’re told of the wrong things you do.

God help me understand, who are these children we profess to love but feel they can’t show the same appreciation or love towards us? Why does it have to be a constant battle between us? What happens when you live each day and pass each other in the wind? You only feel the need to talk or call when you need something. When she calls you don’t answer. Time passes by you text, and they still don’t answer. But can find time to talk to others whether it’s a sister, brother, or a friend. But why is it you choose not to answer the phone most of the time for her? This is confusing.

There are events you take part in that take precedence in your life. But can’t find a moment to call out of the blue and say “I love you” or make the sacrifice. You make it clear no calls can be received at work. But when something requires your attention during this time, you make the sacrifice to get calls at work to make sure everything is fine. Everything has to fit in your schedule according to your plans. But remember, your plans are not God’s plans. God knows and see all you do. And one day when it’s too late, you will reap what you sow all because of you.

Don’t get me wrong, granted there are some good times you share with your children and will cherish the memory. Not every child will do these things even though some will choose to live in misery. There are some children who will go through some things and you will do your best to be there for all of them. There may be one child who you know loves you unconditionally. Every time you speak or hear from them, they will tell you “Mom I love you.” It’s comforting. Mothers are a gift from God. They are treasured memories. I just have to wonder why it is so hard for children to embrace this.

Yes, I confess I have faults. There are some things I don’t always get right. But I can admit my faults and humbly submit to God’s will as I make the sacrifice to make things right. There are times I can be stubborn and will block my own blessing. Yet, when I get angry and choose to refuse help it’s because I feel uncomfortable when I may feel your reaction was unnecessary. When I feel someone is doing something not out of love but out of obligation. I make the decision to refuse help without hesitation. I know it is not the right thing to do. God, please be patient with me. I am working on this too.

In this life, we all have had jobs that either was hard or satisfying. At some point, we enjoyed what we were doing or gave up trying. And sometimes we are given the choice to walk away from it if it is not fulfilling. Or we will keep at it to find success because it is fulfilling. But I find one of the most astute occupations for anyone is being a parent. And I can attest to the fact that the role we are given can be the hardest job ever. It can be even more difficult when children grow up and seem to have various opinions that are in conflict with yours. You chalk it up as a lesson learned. And although some parents will choose to walk away, for others it is not a choice we make. We make the decision to stay.

We age and with aging many things will change. Our body tells us some things aren’t going to operate the same. As believers, we live and we learn. When we come to know God, as we grow and mature we take stride in adapting to changes from lessons we learn. Sometimes we learn hard lessons and decide we don’t want to ever do that again. And then there are times we keep doing the same things over and over again. We fail to learn and get stuck in our old ways. We have trouble adapting and accepting change.

If you think about it, children who grow up will endure the same process. But they may have even a much harder time accepting why we change in the process. Granted they too can get stuck in their ways, but why it is they think it’s acceptable, whether young or old, to do what you used to do and not what you say.

What happened to the old days when children used to say, “Yes ma’am, no sir, excuse me ma’am, how are you today?” What about the times when you made sure a moment didn’t go by without calling Mom or Dad just to say, “I love you” not just today but every day. What about a phone call here or there just to check up on their well-being? Nowadays its cell phones with the option to ignore calls, which I find meaningless. And you can sense when this happens when it goes to voicemail. Or text messages you receive only when they need a favor. Or they tell you, “You have a phone just as I do. Why do I always have to be the one to call you?’ Or “I’m busy, don’t call me at work but you can call me later.” Yet, if something arises at work that they need to get done, they will call you sooner rather than later.

Respect, where did it go? Sadly, it has gone out the window. The only thing we can do is accept what God presents to us in that circumstance and be thankful for the blessing. From the test, learn the lesson. My advice, take this lesson with you. And remember this in all you do. God requires you obey your parents while you are under their care, but it is your responsibility to honor your parents for life. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Eph 6:1-3). This is God’s promise.

Mothers whoever you are and children too, this one is for you. Remember, God loves each and every one of you.

Be blessed! -JD

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that your may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (NIV)

20:12 notes:  “This is the first commandment with a promise attached. What does it mean to “honor” parents? Partly, it means speaking well of them and politely to them. It also means acting in a way that shows them courtesy and respect (but not to obey them if this means disobedience to God). It means following their teaching and example of putting God first. Parents have a special place in God’s sight. Even those who find it difficult to get along with their parents are still commanded to honor them.”

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What Does It Mean To Be A Mother?

My mom asked me the other day, “What does it mean to be a mother?” I didn’t have a word to say. I couldn’t answer.

My response was “Dead silence on the other end of the telephone.” I couldn’t think of an answer because I was in a zone. I was tired and sleepy but after I hung up. I started thinking and here is what I came up with as an afterthought. But before I enlighten you, I must say this to you. The words I share below is what I’m reminded of what I learned from my mother. “What it means to be a mother.”

“Being a mother is “unspeakable” joy. It is a special gift and a blessing from God above. It is being chosen by God. His love is unconditional. It means knowing you are loved. You will fulfill the plan he designed for you. To raise the children he’s gifted to you. His grace and mercy will carry you through. It is God’s favor upon you.

Being a mother means having a humble spirit. Humble yourself and not get weary. For, if you faint not in due season you will reap a reward. It’s all God!

It means to show love and patience to your children. And teach them the goodness about God our Father. It is to prepare them for what’s to come. To teach them God’s Word that will help them overcome. It is to grow in grace. No matter the obstacles you may face. God will give you wisdom and knowledge to fulfill your role.  To be the best mother you can be as you travel the “motherhood” road.

Being a mother is to know when you tell your children this, they are assured of this: God is there for you. No matter what you may go through. Carry these words of wisdom with you. “The road may get rough and the going may get tough. And the hills may be hard to climb. But I’ve decided to make Jesus my choice. No greater love will I ever find.

Carry these words in your heart. And from it, never depart. Bless the Lord at all times. Let his praise continuously be in your mouth. His love is true love. He loves you without a doubt.”

After reflecting on this, I couldn’t help but think of my mother and the life she blessed me with. As I am led to say this:

Being a mother can mean many things. But the one thing that came to mind, where I didn’t think twice, one certain quality that exemplifies my mother…“Sacrifice.”

It is to make the sacrifice to raise our children that will go beyond what we do for ourselves. Knowing they are helpless and cannot care for themselves. In time we will wonder how could we ever depart from this being God sent as a blessing? When we are given an opportunity to learn and teach them godly lessons.

We are kind, loving, generous, and unselfish. We are selfless and full of compassion. Our love is unconditional. No strings attached. We are passionate and affectionate. We nurture. We do our best to be a role model. In order that our children may live lives free of worry and drama.

We love our children more than anything in life. No matter the cost or sacrifice. We will go to the ends of the earth and lay down our life for them. We will do the best we can to protect them. We will not allow anyone to bring harm to them. If someone tries to hurt our child, we will stop the enemy in his tracks. We will go out of our way to let them know we got their back. With God, we will make sure their needs are met. And will be confident he will handle it.

We will put our lives on hold so that we are available, no matter the reason. We will embrace the precious life God has given us, no matter the time or season. The love we have for our children will be etched in our hearts. They are one part; of two human beings. They will bring new life and new meaning. We can’t imagine life without them.

Being a mother means we will wear many hats. That will serve a different purpose in many aspects. We will guard our children’s feelings and teach them to be wise. We will guide their footsteps in every decision that may be unwise. We will instill the love of God in their hearts. That they may grow up and never depart. From his Word or what they have been taught.

Yes, we may have imperfections and have made some mistakes. We have and will fail you on occasion. But we want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. As we try our best to guide and lead you. So you may avoid what we’ve been through. We may set standards that may provoke you from time to time. With bitterness and anger, even rebellion when you fall out of line. But we do this only because we want what’s best for you. We love you.

It is our responsibility to help shape and mold you into honorable human beings God designed you to be. That you may grow up to have good character, sound moral judgment, respect, and dignity. And you may have strong values and integrity.

What does it mean to be a mother? Simply put. It is love, wisdom, and the sacrifice of our life, that our children may have a better life. God placed us in your life that we may be a blessing to lead and guide you. To the life God has designed for you. That will lead to your destiny. Thank God for the blessing.

Mothers are special. They are a treasured memory. Honor, respect, and cherish the memories. No matter what you’ve been through. God sent them as angels to guide and keep watch over you. Don’t wait for Mother’s Day to honor your mother. Let everyday be a day you tell them that you love them. Mothers are one of God’s greatest gifts. Love them with all your heart. Handle your Mother with tender loving care. Keep her close and near to your heart.

Be blessed! -JD

Proverbs 31:26 “When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”

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Train Up A Child

While doing some reading a few days ago, I stumbled upon an interesting post the other day that I cannot seem to locate but wanted to say something about it because the subject matter stuck in my mind for a few days and I couldn’t shake it.

The post was in reference to a young lady who expressed her dislike with her mother when telling her to pray about something when faced with a life-changing decision or obstacles that she would encounter in daily life.

It was understood that her mom’s reason for doing this was because it was considered socially acceptable and a natural response. She expressed her frustration and feelings of being ignored when it comes to the fact that her mother is aware she clearly does not share the same beliefs but chooses to do this on a regular basis.

As I am reading this I couldn’t help but wonder had I been in this person’s shoes what would I have done? And while there are way too many variables to deduce why her mother may have done this with the exception of what she noted, I find given the fact had I been aware of my child’s non-belief, I simply would have said “I will be praying for you.”

On the other hand, had this been one of my children, my response would not have been questionable because I would have said the same thing as did her mother, “Pray about it” as well as “I will be praying for you.”

Not because I feel it is socially acceptable as this person believed the reason her mother does this. Nor would I have done this to impose my own personal beliefs upon them or disrespect theirs, but it would have been because I am comfortable and confident where my children are in their spirituality and beliefs. I know my audience. We share the same religious beliefs.

I grew up in a household with my sisters and brother where we were raised with the same faith and religious tradition of my mother and great-grandmother. We attended church and they instilled Christian values and the teachings of God and Jesus Christ. As I grew up, I chose to hold on to those beliefs and felt it was important to my development and future growth which helped mold and shape me into the person I am today.

When I become a mother, I made the decision in my household to instill and practice the same tradition, religion, and values within my children my mom and great-grandmother taught me. Throughout my children’s lives I would encourage them. I believed it was essential to set the foundation for their future development.

With the understanding that as my children grew up, it would ultimately be up to them to choose their own path but would hope that they continue on the path they were raised and continue with the tradition. Because it was clear I could not choose their faith for them, they would have to experience that on their own. And it would have to be based on their belief and not mine. And regardless, I would love them the same and support their decision.

As life would have it, when they became adults thankfully they held the same beliefs and followed the same practice. And as it stands today, we as a family attend the same church and share the same beliefs with the exception of one of my children who have a different preference.

As a parent I feel it is my obligation to guide and nurture my children in their spiritual development. No matter what situation they may find themselves in, I believe it is essential to instill spiritual guidance and wisdom and provide godly advice and encouragement that is in alignment with my beliefs. Of which I do when presented the opportunity. The greatest thing is they don’t become offended by it but they welcome it and oftentimes are in agreement with it. And will thank me for it. It warms my heart.

As Christians, we are given a charge to pray for others. When I express my intent to pray for my children, I don’t look for a response but  work to encourage and assure them God is in control. I strongly believe prayer is the answer and changes things. It is through my faith, dedication, and commitment to God to pray for others no matter the controversy or conflict it may bring. And is something I will continue to do for my children until I no longer have breath.

As I stated before, I am not one to impose my religious beliefs or preference on others because not everyone you encounter will believe in God or share the same faith. Yet it is not for us to judge. However, we are to remain loyal and true to our beliefs. And not compromise our faith to please, fit in, or be accepted by others.

When your offspring come to you and make you aware that their beliefs are different from yours, don’t become upset by it or disregard it. Have respect for it. Continue in your role as a parent to support, guide, lead, teach, encourage, and pray for them. Nurture them. Live by example. Practice what you preach. Pave the way that will lead them to a lasting, loving relationship with God.

“Train up a child. And although they may stray, they will not depart from it.They shall remember the way they were raised. With the hope they desire to live by what they were taught. To walk in righteousness, glorify and give honor to God.”

Be blessed! –JD

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

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Please Excuse Me For Being A Parent

I apologize for the unintentional, possibly overbearing thoughts I share on the subject of mothers and children. But out of my compassion and concern for parents like myself, I can’t help but speak on the issue I find myself constantly encountering when I speak to other parents as well as what I see within the environment I exist. Please excuse me for being a parent.

It saddens me and shatters my heart to pieces when I hear about the treatment mothers experience from their children. Mothers, regardless of what they’ve done or didn’t do or who they are, they don’t deserve to be neglected, unaccepted, or disrespected. Please excuse me for being a parent.

I hear too many stories about how children choose to ignore, criticize and even disassociate themselves from their parents out of their stubbornness and foolish pride. Oftentimes I see children of today’s generation who lack respect, honor, and value for their parents. There is a great disregard for the role a mother plays in their lives as shown by the way they manipulate, humiliate, abuse, and take them for granted.

God used mothers as angels in the giving of life. We are to nurture, guide and protect our children. No matter what we may be faced with, and I know from experience we have our own struggles, we do our best to console the emotional state of mind our children will experience and not control the decisions they will make. It is never our intention to hurt or harm. So please excuse us for our prayers to keep you safe in God’s arms.

When children see us they think we are invincible. Yet they don’t realize our lives aren’t simple either. We carry heavy burdens when we observe our children’s lives not going the way we would hope. We ache inside our hearts when disappointment or a travesty occurs. Please excuse the attention we give that you feel you may not deserve.

We become consumed with a desire to help even if it’s only to share an encouraging word, constructive criticism or a thought that may bring healing. We try our best to do this in love. Sometimes we fail miserably but it’s never intentional. We make mistakes. We are human too. Please excuse us for caring about you.

We hurt, we heal. We get torn down but we stand the test of time. We go through a lot but we are survivors. As Christians, we are more than conquerors as the Bible tells us, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” Romans 8:37. And it is because of him we live.

This in turn led me to think when someone asked me, “If you could turn back the hands of time would you do things differently?” I answered “Yes, there are some things I would change.” Then they said, “But how would you know you were doing it differently if you didn’t know what it was you were doing?” Me: “You’re absolutely correct” because life isn’t that simple.

We wouldn’t be able to do things differently if we relived our life because we wouldn’t know what to expect since we haven’t lived it yet. We still would be inexperienced with not a clue as to what life would entail. We would have to live and then learn from our experiences. And with the help of God, we will make it to the point we, as mothers, are now. Please excuse our diligence in seeking God because you may not know how.

Much like our children who are in the same place we once found ourselves. The only difference is we have lived the life they are now going through which in essence is a blessing. And they don’t even know it. Please excuse us for trying to be a blessing.

We are born, we live, and then we die. We learn to relinquish foolish pride as we go through life. As we learn to live. Then we learn to share what we’ve learned with our children who will now live the life we once lived. Excuse our innate nature to only want what’s best for you. Please excuse the unconditional love we have for you.

I hope that this will be my final thoughts on the subject but I know with life and children ever evolving, it probably won’t. But I hope that one day when children talk or react to their mothers, they are careful in what they do or say, because we are not promised the next hour or the next day. Please excuse our tenacity as God makes a way. As he listens to our prayers and you are given another chance that day.

We all are here on borrowed time. Learn to treat your parents with love. Learn to be kind. Thank God, for letting your mother stay. That they may guide you on the way, to wherever it is you may be going. As each day God gives you breath to see a new dawning.

Mothers are a treasured memory. Honor them today and every day. Remember if it weren’t for them you would not be a part of that memory if God hadn’t let you stay.

Please excuse us for being parents with a heart filled with love. Please excuse the manner in which we love… you. We are here to guide you. Don’t ever take for granted our kindness for weakness when we do… the very best we can to make life easier for you.

Be blessed! –JD

2 Corinthians 10:12-14 “For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding. 13 But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the sphere which God apportioned to us as a measure, to reach even as far as you. 14 For we are not overextending ourselves, as if we did not reach to you, for we were the first to come even as far as you in the gospel of Christ; 15 not boasting beyond our measure, that is, in other men’s labors, but with the hope that as your faith grows, we shall be, within our sphere, enlarged even more by you,

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A Mother’s Love

God put this on my heart today. To share these thoughts of what I’ve been led to say:

God bless the child that has his own.
For God sits high on a throne.
He knows all your rights and wrongs.

You see, he knew you long before he knew me.
Even though they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Your inherent genes will always be a part of me.

It is never a good idea to forsake the ones God send to you.
No matter how much you disagree with what they say or do.
No matter how much you delay, God will show you the way.
To live righteously in his eyes or it’s an ultimate price you will pay.

The ultimate goal is to admonish God in your doings.
And not allow your life to end up in ruins.
Simply because you see no need to change.
Or because you’ve become an adult who lacks experience in the game… of Life.

Don’t lose sight in the midst of your emotions.
Avoid paying the cost based merely on a notion.
So that God may use you to change lives.
This is your assignment, your purpose, his desire.

Mothers are the salt of the earth. And so are fathers too.
Honor them as God would have you.
He tells you in his Word that this is what you must do.
That life may be more abundant for you.

It’s one thing to become an adult.
It’s another to consciously place fault.
In the ones whose words are to guide.
As God is on their side.

Longevity is not an entitlement. It is a blessing.
God keeps the old and swift to add to the message.
God doesn’t allow us to live as long as we do.
He has a plan for me. And he has one for you.

He uses parents to invoke knowledge and wisdom.
If only children will take the time to fully listen.
Respect, responsibility, accountability is required.
From children who become adults and believe they are entitled.
Don’t get it confused. It doesn’t take away.
The respect you are required by God to have for your parents always.

Parents are not perfect, but do their level best.
To love and guide you no matter what sometimes, may come from their chest.
You may not always like what they say.
But it helps if you express your opinion in a loving way.
You may not agree with everything they do.
But do your best not to let your feelings get to you.

Words hurt once they leave the lips.
Forgiveness is available, but it’s harder to forget.
Be careful what you say. God’s watching you, even today.
Evaluate your thoughts as your soul desires.
But remember God has ultimate power.

God put us here for such a time as this.
It would be absolutely remiss.
For us to not do as God instructs us to.
As for you, be careful who you entrust your life to.
It would be foolish to abandon the wisdom we try to impart upon you.

You can hide, but you can’t run.
God’s WILL will be done.
God will find you. It’s just a matter of time.
Don’t get caught up in the daily grind.
Of doing things your way.
Because there will come a day…. of reckoning.

Seek the wisdom of God.
There’s nothing he can’t do. He fixed me. He can fix you, too.

It is with this I say,
I’m a parent. I won’t ever go astray.
Or divert from the principles of what God teaches me every day.
Love in spite of who you may be.
Because I know God has a greater plan for me.

It’s never by our power or might. To make all things all right.
Don’t let the sun go down and live with regret.
Because once we close our eyes, you can’t bring us back.
To say what you held off today. You will live regretting it all your days.

You may think, “It won’t happen to me.”
“I’m invincible. I can do as I well please.”
Oh but when the day comes.
You will be held accountable to explain to God what it is you haven’t done.

Parents will always continue to pray.
For their children even when they lose their way.
When there’s nothing else we can do.
We surrender our children to God. He’ll correct you.

No matter the time or day. Know that a mother’s love will always stay.
You will remain close in her heart. Her love for you will never part.

Whatever it takes to be you, don’t stop trying.
But don’t fall to the tricks of the enemy in denying.
The Word of God, even when you don’t want to.
Because you’ll miss the blessing he has for you.

Jesus likened himself to the vine and believers to its branches.
We are given many chances.
To produce good fruit for God.
It’s not that hard.

Jesus is the vine. He produces lasting fruit.
Abide in Him as He abides in you.
And you will bear much fruit too.

His word is written. It is the truth.
Make it your goal to live by it. Thank you.

Be Blessed! JD

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